Thanks for you advice. I have not sent my reply to her 'dear john' email. That, I think, can wait for another day. It is almost fully drafted and raedy to go. There is a healthy dose of 2steps wonderful wordcraft included in there as well. He just seems to be able to put into words what I am feeling.
I am beginning to learn that time is my friend in all this. Act in haste, repent at leisure etc etc. Do nothing until the emotion of the situation has subsided.
Her mail just did not sound right to me. It was not worded how she would say things. Yes dmod, it was stilted/unreal. It could have been written to an unsuccessful job applicant almost. I think that she just sat down, took a deep breath and wrote it. No review, no checking, just write it and send it - 'just in case I change my mind' or 'if I don't do it now, I never will' kind of attitude. Looking at our earlier messages to each other where she was just friendly, happy, jokey, lots of :-), LOL's and the occasional x, it was a complete 180.
Looking forward to going home tomorrow to see the kids + D19's new boyfriend. He is 6'5" and built like a brick outhouse. He plays gridiron which is not common over this side of the pond. I've been following the game for nearly 30yrs and have been a Saints fan all that time. Wow, how things have changed for them since Bobby Hebert, Reuben Mayes et al.
I'm not 100% sure how I'm going to be when I get there. I am now feeling completely detached from the pain and anxiety of the past 4 months. Feeling completely at ease with myself and generally optimistic about the future which ever way it turns out. The turning point came just after the Mothers Day Bomb. I did something that I'd never done before. Every bit of pain, frustration, fear, self criticism, doubt, guilt and negativity that had built up inside me over the previous 4 months just disappeared within hours. I had no pre-conceived ideas as to what was going to happen, no expectations, indeed no real knowledge of what I was letting myself in for. I just did it on a recommendation from my sister. I still can't explain what happened or how it worked, but it did. I am a completely different person, relaxed, chilled & happy but can't explain why.
I suppose you want to know what this thing was, well I'll tell you. Promise not to laugh.....
.............YOGA.
I was, and still am, amazed as to the effect that this has had on me. Probably the biggest single life changing event that has ever happened to me - apart from separating from my W that is.
FF999
Me 48 W 49 D19, S17, D14 Together 25yr, Married 22yr Me checked-out July 10, back Sept 10 W checked out Nov 10 Separated Dec 10 ILYBNILWY 2nd Apr 11 We're finished + D bomb 17th Apr 11
