Buy the DB and the DR book and do the work in them.
This is a journey or as it's said here, a marathon, not a sprint. Things didn't happen instantly and won't be fixed instantly.
Mentioning that you are planning for the worst wasn't a bad thing. It may not have been helpful, but may have put some question into your W's mind that you don't feel her talk about S or D is idle threat.
What changes you make in yourself to be better are best shown, not told. And make them stick. Keep them. She's paying attention, she certainly wants to know that they are permanent and not some ploy.
Lastly, there is no need to tell your W that you are on this site, or reading DB and DR. If asked, be honest, but mention that you are reading and talking with people to help you work stuff out for yourself.
