Of course it all can't be wine and roses. I asked my mom, dad and step mom about my W coming over for Easter and two of them said they would do it but wasn't happy with it. They said that they are angry with her still and don't want to be around her. They said that I have been treated bad and wasn't just going to forget about it.
I think that is why MWD is not in favor of exposure of the S who is in an A. Of course, in some cases the stitch is revealed one way or the other, but this is an example of what she's pointing out. Even when the LBS can forgive and R with the WAS, it's not that easy on the parents.
I had the exact feelings toward an XSIL who cheated on my D. Parents don't fall in love with the one you M, and when you get hurt and treated badly, then those parental feelings rise and it is hard to get over.
I would suggest that you don't pursue any get-togethers with your W and parents anytime soon. It will cause everyone to feel uncomfortable. After things are healed in the M and the parents have time to adjust and trust her, then have the get-togethers.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
