"I bring this up because if her feelings for me and the way she treats me started to become unending or if she was unwilling to work things out with me, I would then take that as a possible sign of an affair."
Deserve to Know, In my case the above is true but H is saying it is because he is not willing to "risk" giving us another chance. He says he is angry at himself for giving us that last chance he gave us. I don't think an affair is what caused him to start feeling badly for our marriage but I think an affair could have started as a result of his resentful feelings of me.
Also, In my case there was no EA or PA on my part, it was simply years of not being able to get along, i.e. compatability issues. Also we began to just live separate lives, stopped being intimate,etc. I knew we were in trouble for awhile, but like everyone else, thought there would be a day when it would just work itself out. I certainly didn't know he stopped loving me or wanted out. That was a total shocker especially since I still loved him. He says he never felt loved or respected in our marriage. No mention of how many times I never felt loved or respected myself. It is all one sided in his eyes.
Starsky, I love RobX's approach but that is definitley a LRT. Not sure I am ready to go there yet but getting very close. It definitely might help me get some power back but also might be the last nail in the coffin too. I have to really be ready for that ultimatum.
We will see what the weekend brings. I am going to ask him tonight if he is planning on coming to Easter dinner with my family. I know he is going to say no and that he is going running instead (he is an ultra-runner)and I will leave it at that. We will also see if he indeed saw someone today and if he confronts me about it this weekend. If that happens then I may be quoting RobX myself!
I pray that we will all have a peaceful holiday weekend despite the living hell we are all going through.
