Hello all, I don't really know where to start. Maybe a little background. We have been together for 9 years. We have 2 daughters age 4 and 7. She is a stay at home mom and I work. I own my own bus. and make a very comfortable living. I found this site when I googled "my wife feels empty inside". That is what she told me recently. She says that shes not sure if we should be together anymore. After she told me that I did some looking at myself and I do realize that I've a. taken my marrige and wife for granted, b. been controlling, c. been emotionally unavailble to her. When I was not there for her she did come to me and tell me things that she needed from me (love affection, respect etc.), but I did't listen and kind of brushed it off. I really wish I would have listened then and not got to where we are right now. But so it is. Lately I have started to take what she said very seriously. I never helped around the house before but now I make an effort to do things without being asked because it makes me feel good to help. I take my kids so she can have alone time. Most of the stuff she has asked of me before. She says she is hurt and doesnt know if she can get over it. I try to tell her that I am changing because I see how I was making her feel and because I want to. I panicked when she said she doesnt want to be with me anymore and started to really cling on to her, which I realize was a mistake. She says she needs space and wants to focus on her. I repied that I am willing to work on our marrige but I need some help from her. She says that she can't put in any effort right now because she feels drained and empty. She doesnt know if she'll ever be able to invest in our M again. This all scares me so much. I love her and I want to be with her. I thought at first it might just be issues with her, so I recommended that she go see a counsler. She came back from that and said the counslor recommended seperation or divorce. I didn't ask what she talked about because I don't feel it's my place. Then we went to a MC but she said it just brings up more anger when we talk about our life. She says that she didnt realize how deep her pain and ager was, so we have not gone back though I say I would like to. So it can help us through this stuff. We eat together as a family, sleep in the same bed, were having sex up until recently. We say "I love you" to each other at night and at the end of phone calls and stuff, but I am not sure if it's just out of habit or not.She does notice and appreciate the changes and I plan to keep them up. We talked last night and I said that I am trying to prepare myself and accept that she will be leaving me soon, and I am changing to make myeself better for when that happens. Is it a mistake to make it seem like I think its going to happen for sure? I guess I just need to vent all this. I do have some questions though, 1. I plan on buying the DB book but I am wondering if I should tell her about it, or keep it a secret? I see lots of things on here about things to do, and i dont want her to think im just following a recpie. 2. I have started to detach myself from her, but this was one of the things that she said botherd her before. I have been trying to be affectionate because this bugged her before to but now I fell im smoothering her. So should I be addressing the things she wanted before or accept that she is past that and move on to being more distant and aloof so to speak? Yesterday I was super possitive and open to whatever she wanted, she said I was being weird. I said sorry nothings up, just in a good mood and whatever. Then later I broke down and told her I was trying some stuff to make her happy and want to be with me. I am sorry if I'm all over the place, but my mind is very clouded right now. Any input is very welcome and appreciated, and I will try to write more when I calm down a bit and am able to be a little clearer. Thanks for reading.
