I am many years down the road with this mess. Ex still cycles and spirals and for the most part, I no longer do so with him. Do yourself a favor and don't allow him to pull you in with the ILYs. Actions speak louder than words. My ex still tells me," ILY, I will always love you." But, I have now figured out that this happens, mostly before he needs something. Part of the lesson in this for all of us is to let them lie in the proverbial bed that they have created for themselves.
I would not offer the couch. He will be just find on the aerobed in the basement.
Enjoy your holiday and don't get caught up with his drama and by all means LOOK FABULOUS when you go to your inlaws ... !
