i'm still not sure if he will be coming home but i have prepared myself that he isn't.
i keep myself busy by going out and come home late at night just before i know he would usually get back.
H does come home which is sort of comforting but awkward. i was in bed so he asks me to come downstairs so i do. we talk about general stuff i avoid any R talk. after an hour i say i'm going to bed now H tells me not to go he wants to talk so i tel him i'm listening as its always me who does all the talking
H doesn't say anything i can tell he wants to but doesn't we decide to go to bed which is nice as i usually go to bed alone. whilst in bed H holds me which felt great but so confusing why did he not listen before and do all of this all the while.
later on in the middle of the night we ML during this H is sort of talikng to me about how he feels, i must say this is the second time he has done this this week i mea since i found out we have ML 3 times which is alot for us.
i listen to him and validate but i do say to him why talk whilst ML?? i still hear the mantra believe nothing of what they say and only half of what they do be it good or bad.
i'm just so confused, if anyone has any insight as to what is unfolding here i woul dbe very greatful to hear it
