i know those of you say love is a choice but for me love feels more like a feeling which once there is always there and i can either choose to listen to or choose to ignore.
yesterday i told my H we need to seperate half an hour later i get a text reply
"you're right, why be unhappy and stay with someone who needs as much help as you"
i hadn't replied so half an hour later i get another text
"this is what i need to be happy you get the divorce papers and i'll print my name on it. if i was you i'd go running back to your mom and sister"
this message is quite insulting as i have major issues with my mom and sister but again he did not get a reply so half an hour later he text
"if this is what you realy want i'll call my aunt and get a flat today. if you don't text back i'll take that as a yes"
as it happens the reason i dint text back is because i went into radio silence i was so distraught and sickend by saying we need to seperate that i took my D3 to the park for 4 hours
when i did see the texts i replied
"you know this is not what i want but where we are at right now is not working, i'm sorry for coming between you and OW perhaps you an sweet talk her into getting back with you and look at the positives now you don't need to spend anymore money on hotel rooms"
i honestly wasn't having a dig i truly am sorry for coming between them still in jealous mode i guess. i feel that i did nothing but make him unhappy and she made him happy and know i took that away from him.
10 mins after i send my text my H calls me we talk for an hour no mention of the seperation by either of us we even joke around it was like talking to my friend again and its times like this i hate as it makes me see the good in him
i know our relationship isn't all bad its just we have been focusing on the bad 10%
in our conversation my H tells me he called his aunt as he does not know what to do. i could tell that he is hurt and in panic and doesn't want us to end which he has been saying since i found out.
after our conversation H texts me
"i'm sorry i don't expect you to forgive me. don't just sit there and let it take over you. i'm working straight through with no break to take my mind off"
