My Wife Wants to Separate

[DeterminedFather]

I had set April 1st as the date for me to move out and then at the last day decided I didn't want to. W didn't take it well but seemed resigned to it. My plan was to continue to DB while in the house.

Now 3 weeks later, my W has been depressed, drinking more than she should on the nights she doesn't fall asleep early and is now decided that since I won't move out that she will but this time NOT planning on taking the children with her. During the conversation she said that I hadn't done the things in the past couple of months that she thought would have made a difference. So I asked her what those things are. Her response:
1. I haven't taken initiative to start conversations about separating. I only react to her starting conversations/requests
2. I only talk to her about the kids schedules and the boys (10 and 13) sports
3. I didn't get us back to MC. (She wasn't willing in the past 3 months)

She is right on all three counts but the only half valid one is the discussions about sports. 1. I don't want to initiate convos about separating since that's not what I want. 3. She wasn't willing to do MC 6 months ago so I assumed that she wasn't willing now.

One theme that has come up in our discussions is that she thinks I don't love her and that I don't treat her like a friend. It seems like focusing on the children, GAL and going semi-dark may have had the opposite reaction.

Well, now she is planning on moving out for June 1st. I did offer to move out again today but she turned me down because she doesn't believe I will leave.

I'm going to help her with her plans to leave and see where this takes us. I will have the children for Sun-Thursday nights and we would alternate weekends. Since she works part time and I work full-time I would get the 3 kids on the bus in the morning and she will have them from after school until I come home from work around 6PM.

I'm very concerned about her now since she was a stay at home mom for 11 years who would never separate from the children and now she is going to leave them. She also feels that she is a battered wife without the bruises from my emotional abuse of her.

My IC did tell me to be very careful since in our state all she has to do is call the police and say I've abused her and the police will be forced to arrest me.

So that's my rambling update.

At this point I'm going to:
- Treat her like a friend and initiate conversations that are not kid schedule or sports related. Focus on her.
- Continue to enjoy the kids and GAL
- Help her along with her plan to move out