The big punch

[Redo]

---Update---

BITs, need some insight from you. Ran into a lil trouble yesterday. I'll try to document the convo, 2step style.

I called yup yesterday at my usual time to talk to daughter. earlier i emailed wife questions on the decree she sent me. So after talking to daughter i talked to wife.

M "Hey is your PC up and running now for you to check the email i sent you?"

W : "Nope. Still crashed. I'll reply as soon as i can get to the emails. Did you read through the decree. Any questions?"

M : "Yea i did a lil. I'll email you all the questions i have this weekend. Then you can consult your lawyer and get back to me. Like in the decree there is no mention of us sharing costs to ferry daughter between us."

W : "What do you mean sharing?. You mean i have to pay your gas money when you come and see her? I dont think so."

M : "Look talk to your lawyer. My lawyer told me that since daughter is staying from her hometown, you'll have to share the costs. You decided to move away from austin. austin is her hometown"

W : "No it is not. DFW(where her parents stay) is her home town"

M : "No wife. Daughter was born in austin. Since you decided to move away more than 200 miles, my lawyer said you should share in the costs. Look talk to your lawyer. I am sure the court also will agree that austin is daughter's hometown"

W : "So you were born in India. Might be you should just go back"

M : "You know wife i have no motivation for staying. Only reason i am staying is so that i can be close to daughter. You know that if i go back, all the child support money will drop substantially."

W : "You decided to move away from us. That is not daughter's home". Wife then started dredging up how i screwed up.

By this time i did not want to talk to her anymore. I ended the conversation by saying i'll talk later.

Yup I came to the US on a student's visa for my graduate studies. We got engaged before i came to the US. I did not want to marry before i finished school and got a job. But her family pushed us to her married. Yup, i did get my permanent residentship through my wife. Hated it as i always wanted to get it myself. But wife just wanted me to take the easier path by applying through her. What hurts like hell is that right now she is throwing that on my face. It is almost like she owns the right for me to exist in the US. The irony is that my entire family is bent on bringing me back to india as i have no family in the US. But right now i cannot stand not seeing or holding my daughter. She is my last thread i have to my sanity. I never though that wife would fight this dirty. Somehow in my mind i always placed her on a pedestal that she will not throw this on my face.

On one hand i am having to be tough with her because i always just layed down and let her walk over me. On the other hand I hate doing this to her because i still love her a lot and whenever i do this, i have this huge guilt that i am hurting her. But the icing on the cake is when she starts throwing dirt on me knowing very well my nature. I am not even sure how to process my feelings from last evening's conversation.