OK. Bad night.I need some advice as to how to proceed.
So, I get home last night and H, who is supposed to be a the gym is home in the bedroom on the phone. He does not get off the phone when I get home but I notice he is talking rather low in volume. I go into the bedroom and say to him, "Are you OK" acting as if I did not know he was on the phone. He shooed me away with his hand like he did not want the person on the other end to hear me. I left the bedroom and went back up about 15 minutes later to give him a sandwhich and he shooed me away again but he took the sandwhich. After I left he closed the door behind him. Suspicious??? Anyway, the phone conversation was at least an hour. He seemed rather upbeat when he got off and was even borderline, and I use the word borderline loosely, civil to me.
The remainder of the evening was decent and he even initiated a few comments to me. Well, while he was on the phone I hopped on the downstairs computer and his FaceBook page was up. He normally has it locked so he must have forgotten. There was a post from a girl that asked if he was too tired to chat on the phone. So, I determined this was the girl he was talking to. I have other proof (too long to talk about here) that says that he has been corresponding with this girl for some time now but not sure in what regards.
So, today I checked his Facebook page from work and saw that after he got off of the phone with her last night he posted something on Facebook that said that he was on Cloud 9 but wouldn't tell any of his friends why but that something good had happened. Now, this chick lives across the United States.
I had a very quick R talk with H last night a few hours after he got off of the phone as I was rather upset to know who he was talking to and felt I needed to have an update on things. I know, 2x4. I asked him if he knew any more of what he was going to do about our situation. Again, for the 100th time he told me "I don't know". He will never give me a straight answer.
So, H talks for over an hour to a woman and then gets off of the phone and says he is on Cloud 9 but won't tell anyone why. I know this woman has a young D and lives in another state. There are a few other suspicious posts between the two of them on FB with most of which appears to be them sending each other private messages and such that I can't read.
The million dollar question, is do I confront him in any way either directly or indirectly about her or anyone else that he may be involved with? Why does he keep telling me "I don't know" when he has told me he doesn't love me, want me, and divorce seems the only option for him? Do you all think he is buying time until he can afford the divorce or does he really not know? I don't want to push him into giving me a decision if he really isn't ready to cause I know he will pick divorce.
I am realistic to believe that I cannot and will not compete with an OW. It just never works in my opinion. The R he has right now with her is infatuation and that is not combatible. Infatuation will always win out. I just want to say F*&^ him and leave but I don't want to do anything drastic either.
Is it ok at this point to simply ask him if he is seeing someone or wanting to see someone else and tell him that that is what my intuition is telling me. Maybe something like, "With the way you are treating me, it seems like I am standing in the way of you wanting to be with someone else. I will readily move out of your way and stop trying if that is what you want." And then of course, wait for a response.
After spending some time on his FB page, he certainly has GAL for himself. I think he is now realizing all of his possibilities out there and it is doing further damage to any possible hopes of reconciling. He has been there done that with me but there is a world of new possibilities for him if he doesn't choose me. It just makes me feel that it is hopeless and I am not worthy.
