I'm right there with you, and watching you/over you closely. I have no idea what emotions will wash over me in less than two weeks time, but I know they will not be joyous. My friends want me to be joyous, triumphant, jubulous. I do not feel that way. I still feel as if I have somehow failed, even though I know it was not of my doing.
I believe you have to grieve and mourn, as wise Beatrice says. And while Braveheart takes a hard line, there is truth to be learned in that, as well. Take what you need from everyone here and leave the rest. It's all we can do for now.
(((HUGS)))
Oh, and hope you made it through the storms okay Dallas. You are only 4.5 hours from me, so I suppose you got smashed into as well.
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
Journaling here at work.... I get so angry at the smallest of things.....I feel like I want to cry, have a tempter tantrum.....dont know whats going on .....
I thought I was detached, since we never see eath other or speak to each other.This time it had been over a yr when he came to get the div.I told him it had been that long and he was like wow it has been that long??? Stupid jerk..yes it has been that long ...to me it was an eternity....but to him it was just like yesterday. I cant wait for him to one day go thru what he put me thru.
I feel lots of rage inside me....maybe been there all this time only now it is beginning to surface. I feel like I want to just hit someone.... I know these are bad feelings but maybe posting here will help. Since my journey I have not had these type of feelings and I feel I dont know what is going on....Irma
Hi, I felt insanely angry for several weks post divorce. Then I didn't feel so angry any more, and now i hardly ever feel angry.
It hurts, and anger is a normal response. I won't tell you not to be angry - why not? Experience it, and then you will be able to move on. If you don't deal with it it comes back to bite you later. Take care, it does get better, I promise.
I have been here for a while and the feelings I am feeling I am not used to. I know that I am still healing,but it like now I am thinking of all he has done, all the lies,how he used me for as long as he needed to.ie kept telling me we were going to move but all he wanted for me to store all his tools, his fav. car, all his stuff and then when he came to move them he took her instead. I feel so used angry hurt mad sad I dont know what is happening can anyone tell me????????? thanks beatrice for you post but these feeling are so very not like me......I dont like them and I want them to stop....
Used, abused, discarded, kicked to the curb, crapped on, dumped.
They all apply. IF that is what you allow yourself to feel like. I know those feelings. I know that anger. I could easily take my nails and claw them down his face; kick, bite, scream, cuss. I all for not surpressing the emotions.
You know what? It's all normal. We are human and we will feel this way for awhile. Longer if we allow them to have a hold over us. I worked the last twenty years so he could ride off into the sunset of retirement with HER??? Yes, I know those feelings.
Scream, kick, tear a pillow to ribbons, mangle his favorite chair; LET IT ALL OUT - and then let it go. I'm 9 days from D, so I'm counting on you to be there when I go through this same thing. I fully expect to. But you know what? It's our secret. He'll never know.
As far as the world is concerned, especially his world: We are perfectly happy with how things turned out. ((HUGS))
Used, abused, discarded, kicked to the curb, crapped on, dumped.
They all apply. IF that is what you allow yourself to feel like. I know those feelings. I know that anger. I could easily take my nails and claw them down his face; kick, bite, scream, cuss. I all for not surpressing the emotions.
You know what? It's all normal. We are human and we will feel this way for awhile. Longer if we allow them to have a hold over us. I worked the last twenty years so he could ride off into the sunset of retirement with HER??? Yes, I know those feelings.
Scream, kick, tear a pillow to ribbons, mangle his favorite chair; LET IT ALL OUT - and then let it go. I'm 9 days from D, so I'm counting on you to be there when I go through this same thing. I fully expect to. But you know what? It's our secret. He'll never know.
As far as the world is concerned, especially his world: We are perfectly happy with how things turned out. ((HUGS))
Let your emotions out! You need to do this for you. I went through them all the first time and even this time. I felt such anger and hate for my H. It took me a while to get out of it. Now I feel sorry for him. It's the grieving process and it is normal to go through this.
Let it out and then let it go when you are ready, them it's time to heal!
Irma, I knew you would feel this at some point. Problem with standing for as long as you did is the feelings of wasted time, feeling used, abused, lied to, and low feelings about one's self. I'm not against standing, but it can become unhealthy, in your case, it became unhealthy. You must not spend too much time dwelling on him or what was, you need to focus on yourself and move forward. Don't sit and think " he will get his" its been my experience that most people don't get what they deserve, good or bad. Only thing you can do in this life is to make it as good for you and your family as you can.
While I agree to a point with Braveheart's statement, I am a true believer in "What's goes around, comes around." How long that takes just depends on the size of the circle and the ripple it produces.
