Kaffe Diem I follow sparks thread too, since we are both in very similar sitch's. So I know what you are talking about. Actually I started washing the dishes and try to every once in a while do the laundry. I also started making the bed every morning. It was part of DBing since I knew she would notice and I had to Get used to these tasks anyway if I ended up alone. The respect thing can be so difficult. Especially since in my case it is not just about respect, but as we discussed before about control. In many ways these two concepts can be contradictory. I have been trying some 180's with relatively good results that are aimed at regaining respect. Silly things as being less passive when joking around and even turning jokes on her seem to garner me a little bit of respect. To think that before I was even scared of lightly poking fun of her, despite the cruel things she'd say for the sake of joking around.
At some point she mentioned years ago that she thought I had a big ego an didn't like that. I toned it down, but now I realize it may have led to the situation I am in where she just doesn't see me as an exciting and dynamic person.
As for the journal entry I'll wait till tomorrow a lot happened today. I actually stepped on the mine but did a good job diffusing it I think.
