Hi cal, sorry to read you here and welcome back...
I'm new enough here and since you successfully DB'd, I feel a bit out of place offering help, but support I can give.
I'd re-ask J3B's question, although maybe it was just me that saw the question... moved three years ago and he got into a "health kick"? ummm... OW...?
I wonder how a marriage that had no real passion or sex drive suddenly be a failure because there's no passion or sex drive.
Unless your H is feeling some unfamiliar "strains" and you aren't the reason.
Maybe I missed it, but was the prior reason for having come here? How did you DB and what worked for you? Have you tried it again? Have you tried something new?
Your focus on sex seems not to be his focus. There sounds like there's something else, and maybe he's doing the "bait and switch" with you. My W said she didn't have "the passion" any more. Claimed it was across the board. That was before I knew about EA and OM.
