Day 171: The walls are telling me to eat more honey nut cheerios. I think they are right. My coffee was singing me a lulla-bye... but it didn't work. I think I'll wrestle the alligator in the fridge next.
lol... :-)
OK, seriously. D8 had some sort of "earth day" thing going on at school this eve. W notified me last night by email. Said she'd forgot about this and apologized for short notice. Never bothered to respond to that.
Went to event. Caught up with D8... and D13, FS16, and FIL...? No W...? Bizarre... no matter how you slice it.
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I'd mentioned in another thread how I was finding my W doing odd things like lingering and bizarre behaviours. Things like giving me the equivalent of (17yr old) "giggle waves" at my niece13's b-day party, and hugging my mom when W left. She ended an email conversation giving me a heads up of being interviewed for TV on short notice and her hair's a mess... like I care...? Like OMW says... crazy lady...
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As I've mentioned previously, D13 and W have had a co-dependence since we met. Bad mojo in D13's bio dad and W's relationship when I came on to the scene. W and D13 had forever after been very clingy, W treat(ed/s) D13 like a close, adult friend, even when she was 4 and 5 yrs old. W kept D13 close, even taking her to many, late night "adult parties" we'd go to. D13 sleeping with W in our bed on regular basis (as recently as two years ago) for days at a time. I'd be left to sleep on couch or in D13's empty bed. Again, all this type of stuff from when D13 was 2, right through till 10 and even now.
Did I try to do anything about it? Sure I did. Co-dependency is a nasty disease and trying to get between mama bear and baby bear is safer than trying to get between a co-dependent mother and child. I did my best and did well, but there's only so much I could safely do. This began my walk on egg shells.
Anyhow, D13 has been behaving "oddly" as well. As much as she's distancing herself from me, which one would say is a 13 yr old behaviour, it always coincides with the cycles of W. When W is close and nice, D13 is close and nice. When W is distant, D13 is distant. Always had a difficult time getting in between the two, though made significant inroads with that over the years. Still...
So (in privacy of homes; when friends aren't there to see) D13 will initiate conversations or give hugs when she/I leave. At school event today, D13 told me all about her sore wrist (an apparent boxing strain). I had to do the whole "Dr. Dad" diagnostic on it. Probably a strained or torn ligament. Giving me the 13 yr old "stare down" when I'm behaving goofy in public, but you see that inside smile. Love it... :-)
As much as she claims she doesn't want to be here often and not for overnights (unless she knows she can have friends over and "p0wn" my place), and as much as W claims to be trying to encourage D13 to come here. I have strong suspicions that D13 has not been coming here in order to show W that D13's loyalties are still with W. But also, because with W being so busy on weekends as she has these days, D13 has free reign of house and her life. No need to escape by coming here.
But... I know (can tell from her responses to me) that she is excited to learn SCUBA diving. I've got some options for us. Just need to get the money together. D8 said to me (candidly offered information during quiet time) that D13 told her that she was excited for SCUBA. Of course, it was in response to D8 questioning D13 about it. But I'm sure it was sincere, and not just meant to make D8 happy.
So like I said, bizarre behaviour in W seems to show up as odd behaviour in D13... gotta love/hate co-dependence...
