Glad you found this resource, TM. Do you have the DB and DR books, as well? Do the work in the books, it will help.
Commenting on your last post, great job! Now wait... wait... wait.............
It sounds much like my sitch early on, before I got here. The emotional outbursts from W to me of "go ahead and file then" to the apologizing and trying to normalize. But the EA just kept going... and going... and then included others... and not just male friends, but female friends, as well.
Your W's sister is as much an emotional outlet whom she is sharing her most intimate feelings as well as her day to day. Things she likely used to share with you and now will not. No, she is not having the same "twinges" that one might have with an EA of the opposite sex, but the rest of her life belongs to her sister in the same way as an EA. That is very unfair to the M, to you, and if she's going to "work on it", then she needs to return to YOU as the EA. Start sharing everything with you.
So as Petty says... "the waiting, is the hardest part". But that is all you can do. As mentioned earlier, (you know) you cannot control her. Any pressure is likely to put her in "run" mode, unless she completely opened up to the consequences. You need to see if she will now run to you, or runs from you.
If she runs to you: WORK IT, WORK IT, WORK IT!
If she runs from you: welcome to the roller coaster. You need to choose when you step off...
