First time caller...

[BeingMe]

Just caught up on your sitch ... sorry that another person needs this resource, but thank goodness it's here.

You are still in the early days, and it's probably going to get worse before it gets better, depending on the R with OM. It sounds like she is unable to take up with a real R with him, but not willing to leave you for financial reasons, and probably because you are so much help with her autistic son.

Is the house yours completely? Or half hers in a D, if it comes to that. There are three ways you can go, as I sees it ... 1. kick her out and let her see what life is about without you, or 2. she stays but you do nothing for her, go dark, but wih her in the house, or 3. continue what you're doing but DB ... I think you're doing this already in a small way. Just don't bring up R talk, don't say you love her, continue being kind, but distant. Protect your finances though. MLCers love to spend. And GAL ... be a busy DBer. Plan for the worst, but hope for the best, was my motto.

Hope it works out for you. My H also did the EA with high school flame. I dont know how far it got, since she lived quite far from him at that time. Seven years down the line, and in retrospect, I wish I had divorced him then because he has not changed, or tried to find what went wrong for him. No introspection, while I have busted my butt trying to find what I did wrong, how I could've done things better, etc.

Anyway, that's a long story.