I know there are a few of us here who really have such strong faith, so I really don't post much about some of the things I feel when it comes to how God is influencing our sitch. last time I did, about how I was able to start our family praying the rosary together, I got teased about it.
I do think that dreams are a way of God to communicate with us. You do have to wear your ring, even if at this time the M is not what is was (hence the change in color- the gold got tranished!)
I myself had 3 dreams in the last month or so. The first was that H was crying to me that OW was using him. The next day, H told me that OW was only talking to him to ask for help with her research project! the next was that H was telling me that it really is over between him and OW. I have felt that lately, their communication has really dropped off, and H has really been graduially acting more like old H at home. Around 2 days ago, I dreamed of my ex BF, and that H and I were fighting because of him, and that this time it was me who was having a problem. Well, in about a weeks time I am going to visit my hometown, outside of the country, where ex BF lives - and he never married after we broke up, although he is really such a nice and handsome guy as well (looks a lot like H except not as tall).
All of those dreams I beieve had a message for me from God.....they were very relevant to my sitch....and I also did not have any other dreams during this time.
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
Funny, last week I dreamed W wanted to reconcile and was actually being nice for a change. In fact that one really upset me after I woke up. I might have even woken up because of it.
I guess I was upset because it was in such stark contrast to the reality of the sitch. (like dreaming you won the lottery and then you wake up) I don't know if God was trying to tell me not to give up or nothing at all, but I have been really detaching hard.
Except this week is a little blue, because Thursday (4/21) is mediation, and the anticipation is affecting me a little emotionally.
Holy Thursday, who would have guessed.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
I guess its really up to you. Maybe God is telling you that if you choose to stand, that is how it will be like. I'd be upset too if I were you. The last dream I had I actually cried out in my sleep and woke up because H was shaking me, and telling me that I was dreaming. He said I was crying without tears.
Have you seen Courageous Wifes'post in the MLC forum? Read up on what is happening to her, just shows that for God, anything is possible. By the way, I have been reading a lot of testimonies from Charlyne Cares and it helps keep up my spirits. I have really decided to stand for my marriage now, as long as I can take it.
Offer up your pain to God this Holy Week.
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
Go into mediation confident. Be prepared for what's to come.
I remember going to meet with the mediator. I was all business. The reality of everything got the my W, she was the one that broke down and cried.
It doesn't mean it's the end.
Stay strong. Sometimes financial reality smacks the WAS upside the head. Continue on your personal groth too. gr8
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
I remember going to meet with the mediator. I was all business. The reality of everything got the my W, she was the one that broke down and cried.
gr8
In spite of the tears, was she still determined to go through with the D?
I just don't get that. I would have been tempted to ask, "Are you certain this what you really want?"
But I guess my intuition and memory of the past year would tell me the answer is yes.
Like I said, when you open a can of worms, you get worms.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Hang in there IaP! Stay strong. I feel like I am heading down a similar road. My W has been pretty much all business on filling out the paperwork, but she did break down while we working on it last week.
Countdown to mediation. Meeting w. atty 1 hr before to prepare. Then to the mediator at 1:30 PM.
W informed me this morning she was called to the principals office yesterday. They're letting her go after this school year. She was pretty upset. I just listened intently (actively) and offered what comfort I could, having been fired a couple times in the past myself.
I think this too is part of her journey.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
We reached a settlement in 4-1/2 hours at mediation and agreed on a parenting plan. All that remains is to appear before a judge and get his rubber stamp. Easter Sunday will mark six months to the day since she dropped the bomb. Lovely!
The stupid thing about all this is - If she can't find another job, I still end up supporting the whole family anyway. But I think this job lay off is going to ba a part of her coming out of the fog. I say that with caution, wondering if it is part of the "smoke of destruction" message I thought I received in prayer a couple of months ago.
Anyway, she's never experienced being fired before, and it hit her like a 2x4.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or, being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with triumph and disaster And treat those two imposters just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to broken, And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breath a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch; If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run - Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
