Regardless, My goal is to behave in a way that I am proud of.
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I'm not exactly devastated but just sad. A little depressed but mostly sad that the life I thought I was going to have the rest of my life no longer exists.
I just read a passaage in a book this morning that was talking about expectations (nothing to do with DB or R's per se), and how much more disappointed we are when we have them. Even about how you think the day will go.
The writer used a really good analogy about gifts. The gist of it was would you rather someone got you a gift off of a list you had made up or a surprise? Granted all surprises aren't even something we'd like, but when we are open to them, life is much more enjoyable.
This doesn't mean we don't all have expectations to some extent. What I have learned is to be more open and spontaneous about things in general.
I know this doesn't really help right now. Perhaps something to ponder later.
