Some good suggestions, thank you. I need to do something. I need to open the door, and let her choose if she wants to walk through. Not tell her to walk through, push her, or pull her through.
Originally Posted By: Left_in_the_Bay
Do you have any expectations if you decide to do something?
My expectation is for me to feel like I have recognized our marriage and anniversary. To do something nice, period. I have no expectations from her in any way - not be be intimate, admit anything, or feel any differently. I just don't want the day to pass unacknowledged.
Originally Posted By: Left_in_the_Bay
What are you hoping to accomplish?
Further peace of mind for myself. Possibly to see how she reacts - as it will show me further where we stand.
Originally Posted By: Left_in_the_Bay
Will you be disappointed if she says she doesn't want to do anything?
Yes disappointed - but I am expecting this from her so I am not let down if this happens. If I do it right, it will simply be something nice from me, nothing she has to commit to, or say yes to, but just to receive.
Originally Posted By: Left_in_the_Bay
To me it would be putting pressure on her and putting her in an uncomfortable situation.
I understand. I need to figure something out that is simple and innocent. Something I do to recognize it, or present to her, as opposed to needing her buy in on an activity. As always, DB and LRT is not one size fits all. I think this is one of those situations in my case where after serious thought, I will do something.
For sure won't do: - Babysitter/dinner (unless she suggests it ahead of time) - Gifts - Flowers - Any surprise plans - Go for a hug, kiss, or any intimacy
Possibilities: - Say happy anniversary happily once during the day - Get a card, put it at her place at the table for breakfast in the morning. - Maybe even wake up early, make coffee for her, make a simple breakfast (for all of us), and leave the card at her place. That seems innocent, with no expectations, just doing something nice. Although she sleeps poorly these days and is usually up at 5 anyway so this might not work. - I need to think of a few more (suggestions welcome)
