Am I on the right track?

[NEmoose43]

Journaling again:

My goal for the day was not to text/call W first. And I was able to hold to it for once! Got a text from her at school around noon, letting me know about some end of the school year stuff and that her advisor is leaning towards making her his full-time grad assistant next year. I congratulated her, told her it was awesome and left it at that. And what do you know, 2 hours later I get another text letting me know about an MRI she has scheduled for a neck problem she's dealing with. They scheduled at 8:30 at night, which is a little strange and she was a bit worried that they're trying to get her in for the test as quickly as they are. So we went back and forth about that and what she has to do to get ready for finals in two weeks. I ended the convo again by telling her to get back to work and I'd talk to her later.

Strangely enough, a couple hours later, I get another text asking how work was going. I actually had a rough day, slipped on a cardboard box on the floor and messed up my back a little, so I told her about that and she gave me a bunch of things to do to try and calm it down. Again, I ended the convo by saying I had to get back to work and said I'd let her know how I was feeling when I got home.

Texted her to say I was finally home about an hour ago, and she called back almost immediately. Ended up talking for about 45 mins about our days and what we had planned tomorrow. Really great normal conversation, lots of laughing and joking, and not even a moment of R talk! [allow me a moment to pat myself on my incredibly sore back....thank you]

I've been trying meditation lately...trying to calm myself down I suppose. We talked about that a bit and W invited me to try a yoga class with her. Told her I'd love to as soon as my back stops seizing up. She talked a bit about how when she's in class it helps her to let go of the negativity of the last 6 months and focus on what to do to make things better [which made me want to jump around my living room of course]. So I said that as much as I'd love to be a part of something she enjoys so much, I wouldn't want to intrude on what's become a sanctuary for her. To which she replied: "Thank you for saying that, but I'd really like you to come."

Said goodnight soon after that, and I managed to hang up without saying "I miss you" or "I love you"...again, little goals accomplished.

Lot of positivity today. Maybe she really did need to just get away from me and clear her head? Man I hope so. I feel so empty without her here, and sleeping without her is still straight up torture...guess I have to take it day by day and minute by minute. Hope everyone can send some patient vibes my way...