25yearsmic, I loved your response and will try to answer all of it so you can understand all that has taken place in this relationship. As for my mom, I miss her so much and know that she is in Heaven but it does not ease my pain. I finally dreamt about her and she was close to me but I cannot remember my dream. I need my moms help, I need my moms guidance, I need my moms love and it is just so hard. As for forgiveness, I am a forgiving woman, but yes, I have walked this walk before with him. This is the fourth time. I know that forgiveness is about me and that God does have a plan for me. My H has left 4 times. He has some deep issues from childhood and MLC. i
