My H is my best friend right now too. We have just been friends for so long I dont know how to not be his friend. And because of our D I cant really not get along with him. But this does make it really hard to detach. We did have a couple of weeks where we did not get along and I was miserable, he was miserable and our D was in bad shape. So we talked and decided no matter what we needed to remain friends. I am hoping that this friendship will be our foundation to create something more. But if not it seems to be very important that I figure out how to be his friend and not his wife. Not sure how to do that one yet. But for your D's sake, I believe, you and your H do need to remain friends. She needs to see that. I believe it will help her get through this. She needs you both and it is tough to find a way to accomplish that and do what you may need to do to save your M. But it will take time especially if she is not used to having him gone. My H has really been gone since September. For me she would get used to him being gone and then he would suddenly start showing up again. It was so up and down with him that it really played with her emotions. They need stability - one way or another.
Only on rare occassions do we even talk about our relationship. I ask a question here and there, get a quick but polite answer and then change the subject. I think I just need to not push the topic and remind him we can have fun and not stress about life. I have been doing this for about 4 weeks now. Very hard - have had 2 minor freak-outs but then I recover I explain I had an emotional day (thinking about him with her) and he understands. I think I have made some babystep progress. He is actually thinking about us again. Baby steps.
I found this quote on the internet Sunday. I am keeping it with me as a reminder to what I am fighting for... "Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything its cracked up to be. That is why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you dont risk anything, you risk even more." - Tony the Tiger
