Won't stand for a broken family

[Timetotry]

I am so confused...guess its the rollercoaster ride. I thought I may have made some progress on Sunday. H came over to cut the grass but before going outside he asked me for a hug and said how he needed it so bad. He then talked some R talk for an hour, not my forcing. I validated again and again although he did try to lash out a few times but I refused to let it get to me. The hour ended with no resolution but he did say how he was afraid to come back and try and hurt the kids if it doesn't work out. I said how I was afraid too. I said if he communicates that we are trying and there are no guarantees, that is better than not trying at all. Now, I don't know, did I backslide? I don't think so but would love to have some feedback.

Rest of the day went well, he stayed around the rest of the day and I even was able to get him to do the 5LL quiz. We joked and talked about it a bit but I didn't want to push anything. After dinner he left and had a few texts back and forth yesterday of which he is only the one who initates.

Today he text me this morning asking if he can come over for dinner. I said yes. I said what would he like. He said"It doesn't matter, I just don't want to have dinner alone". I was so upset and felt used/doormat like. But I stopped myself and said to believe nothing what I hear and half of what he does and made the best of dinner time. He left a little while ago and thanked me for dinner. Didn't interact with the kids as much and only had some talking with me. I asked him to take the 5LL book to read and he said "Na, unless its on an ipod I am not reading it". I didn't push.

Confused, really confused. Is this baby steps from Sun? Anniversary is on Sat and he asked to sleepover to be with the kids Easter morning. I don't have high expectations but based on Sunday, I thought he was coming around. IC today said he isn't ready and has no remorse..still blames me for his feeling no love.

I really don't know how alot of you can do this for months on end, I truly admire you all!

H:41
W:44
D1:18
D2:16
S:12
D3:7
T:20
M:18..soon
Bomb:1/5/11
Sep:2/18/11
No D filed yet; just threats

“It is what YOU make it”!