Yes, he just turned 37 and has been tanning, working out, got a whole sleeve of tattoos in the last month (never had a tattoo before), interest in head banging music, got a few new clothes but not overboard, going out drinking with "friends" at night and staying out to just right before he has to go to work (third shift).
Lily, this sounds pretty much like what my H did when he turned 50, although thinking back....he did the same thing around 40 and 35.
I've found that the only thing that makes me consistently feel better is to exercise and pursue my own interests. Also, set your mind on higher things. Make the choice to be happy (even if it is about something else going on in your life...your job, your kids, your class, etc...)
Detaching is hard. I've gone back and forth on that one myself. The hard part is that you truly have no control over what your H does and who he is with and what his plans are. The only person you have control over is you and it sounds like you are headed in the right direction by doing 180s (for you) and GAL!
If your H feels guilty about your "niceness"....well darn it he should. Don't change who you are. Continue to be the patient kind person that your H married. You will feel better about YOU in the process.
Me - 49 H - 56 S - 23 D - 20 Married 25 years H moved out 10/11/13 H moved back in 10/13/13 H moved out again 8/1/14
