update on my sitch II

[MrBond]

"i agree with this completely but i feel like i have given her that time to be alone."

This isn't up for you to decide if SHE has had enough time to be alone. That's her decision. You can't go according to your timetable. Just hers.

Is that how you live your life? Through someone else's schedule? You're single. Treat yourself as such for now. Not in terms of going out with other people, but in terms of understanding that she is not yours to control. You control your own life and start living it.

"i just want to initiate some contact on real light level."

You said you already have. You just want more. She's the one who needs to initiate talk that's more than just logistics.

And what makes you think that she doesn't realize that you're still there. She knows. That's good and bad. She knows subconsciously that if things fail for her, you can be the second choice. You need to stop contacting her for that myth to get shaken out of her.

"i was never afraid to contact her... i was afraid to contact her in person."

You were afraid...period.

She called you for strictly logistical stuff before. She only called you when she needed you for something. She hasn't asked how you were doing, etc. You can start the positive interactions when she starts initiating calls to see how you're doing.