Friendly interactions don't hurt. But when they aren't being reciprocated and initiated by the WAS, then they hurt. There's a reason why DB teaches you to not always being in their face. You have to give them room to breathe.
More often times than not, you'll see that the WAS will start initiating only after the LBS is out of the picture. Not all, but most.
WN had been afraid to contact his W when they were first S. And now that their D he wants to increase contact? It's a little backwards.
Again, there's no problem with friendly contact. But how about working on yourself first so that you don't need the LBS.
i was never afraid to contact her... i was afraid to contact her in person. i wanted to keep communicating with her but i didn't want to come off as sounding weak when i was about to breakdown every time i talked to her. that has not been the case for months now.
the divorce was final at the end of february. i had a decent amount of contact with that was initiated by her (mostly logistical stuff) but she was always friendly and responded to any conversational type stuff that i would talk to her about. after a week or so of that i backed off and went way more dark. we have been communicating about once per week since then and always initiated by her. the last two times that i saw her in person *she* broke down. the first time was when i apologized for something specific that i used to do that i realize now was inconsiderate. i thought that that could have been for a lot of reasons but this time all i did was ask her how she has been. i think that she is feeling really alone and i don't know if it's better to initiate or wait but i think that if i keep it light it might be comforting to her to have me to lean on.
she is alone now and she feels that. i can see it in her eyes... she is in a lot of pain and whether or not her pride will let her come back to me i don't know. but i want her to know that i am still here.
BITS
M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
