Met with my L yesterday and he told me that H's L doesn't get along with anyone (other Ls). And that she also doesn't settle on anything. So looks like H picked a winner.
So my L came up with a counter proposal and is sending it to H's L and he called her and left a message that she will be receiving it by Thursday. I asked him if she ever does that with him.....call and let him know ahead of time. He started laughing and said no. She doesn't get along with anyone, and she would never go out of her way to contact another L.
I was very upset when I was there and when I left. It just seems so final. My L doesn't think she will agree to our proposal and thinks it will go in front of a judge and will cost a lot of money for me and H. I don't have it, so I have NO clue what I would ever do. And H's lawyer has already said if we can't settle she was going to have a Master appointed.
I also tried to contact H's Father's side like a fool and just to let them know through the uncle (he was always down to Earth and a great guy, but also controlled to a degree by his sister (H's Step-mother), that I still loved and missed all of them and so did the kids. I asked him to please pass the message on to FIL, SMIL, and SILs. I haven't heard a word back. I thought since I knew them and the kids knew them better that H's Mother's side that I owed it to them because I went way out of my way to contact his Mother's side like he asked me to do. H lived with them the first 6 months we were separated, and they went to every hearing he had, it was like he was a child or something. I don't like her very much, I think it's because the longer I knew her I could see how controlling she is with everyone. Her own D said she was a very selfish and controlling person and had no heart. But I wanted to do the right thing for the kids again, and yes I miss the FIL but nope nothing. So since I didn't hear back from the uncle I didn't mention the Confirmation.
This is why I get down and out, I feel there is NO hope because of how many people H got involved from the very beginning. And now all relationships are ruined.
Do I want them (the toxic ones) around the kids? No way. But the others yes because I feel the kids need them. My Father passed away at a very young age almost 10 years ago, and I miss him terribly. He was my best friend, but if any of his kids did wrong and he would make sure he heard both sides of a story no matter what was going on, he would tell us to fix it. That he loved us and we made a mistake and now it's time to fix it. If we weren't at fault, yes he would stand by our sides.
I keep trying to do what I feel God would want me to do, because He forgives all of us but every time I try I get hurt more and more and so do my kids.
Nothing from H at all to our D14 or me.....so no need to go dark, he has done that again on his own.
