Are you both in a shape that is attractive to the other?
Not exactly. When we first met, I was in good shape and now I'm overweight. He brought this up in the counseling and said as horrible as it sounded, it might help if I lost weight. I've been working with a personal trainer in the past and started up again along with diet etc. This was January before any issues were brought up again. Maybe not as fast as he wanted to see it happen but I am trying. For him, he's gotten better looking as he has aged. We moved a few years ago from Chicago to Seattle and he started making exercise a huge part of his life, losing a lot of weight and getting in great shape. I don't melt, get weak in the knees and he's not necessarily my type but he's not unattractive either. I don't know how to explain it other than that and I don't know what he could change. However I would say that for me, sexual desire is usually a lot more about attitude and the mental side of things than the visual. I know guys are more visual.
Originally Posted By: Jack_Three_Beans
Quote:
Unfortunately we both assumed it was impossible when we never even tried anything the counselor suggested.
That baffles me. Why not? Let's pay good money and not try any of the excercises?
Yeah, like I said I'm probably just as much to blame on this one. She wanted us first to fill out a huge questionnaire about love, emotions, sexual attitudes and other things but the kicker was that we were supposed to ask our parents all these questions. I think both of us were just too uncomfortable with that. Then the first assignment was about going on a 'date'. Fair enough this was supposed to be a special, dress-up, meet at the place don't go together event but we go out all the time, we didn't really see what it was going to do for us. You bet for sure that now I wish we'd tried it, changed our attitudes about it and maybe that was what was supposed to change, not the event itself. And combined with that, we decided (or so I thought) that we were ok and we had our own things we wanted to try. We left counseling with all intentions of sparking things backup.
[quote=Jack_Three_Beans] Have you tried changing things up in the bedroom? Do you have the opportunity to try? Or Kitchen, or living room or car. [quote]
Kinda, not enough though. He says now that nothing we tried did it for him.
I doubt I have the opportunity to work on it at this point since I'm pretty much in the other room and he's avoiding me as much as possible.
