Help..I dont want a divorce

[StaciG]

I dont believe he is using steroids because he compeits in all natural bodybuilding. But through alot of my research I have done online there are some supplements out there that can give you the same effects as the steriods, which he takes all kinds of supplements. We had 4 cabinets full of them. Your right he is very all over the place. I understand that getting ready for a show takes lots of dedication but is that "trophy" worth loosing your marriage?? He has deleted and blacked me from his FB page but we still have a few mutual friends and they have told me from the looks of his comments on FB "life is good"! Its like out of sight, out of mind for him. I said yes, "life is good" cause he walked away from all his responsiblities. I got left with our new house we just moved into back in November, which I cant afford by myself and all the other household bills. He also had gotten a lil puppy and guess who has that? ME! Which I wouldnt give her up for anything its just the point. How do you just walk away from everything that you cared so deeply about at one point??
He will not come back to house, because I cannot keep putting myself thru the highs and lows. Its making me feel like I'm the crazy one. I have been doing counseling myself, been going on a weekly basis.