Not too much happening. I am seeing H peek out from the fog occasionally. H has initiated contact with D16 twice to take her out for dinner. Last weekend was H's weekend with D16 and again he came to our house. I left for the weekend before he came and spent the weekend with my mother and visited with friends. When I cam back H was still here on Sunday, though D16 was spending the day with her bf. I was surprised to see him, and we sat and chit chatted for about an hour before he left. I couldn't believe he did not run off to be with OW. He also did some things around the house showing concern for me and D16, I take that as a positive as he hasn't really showed much concern the last 6 months. We met and finished taxes yesterday and I made sure that he made a copy for himself to have for next year. He said why, and I said, "you will being doing your own taxes next year" and he just said "ok". I have a gut feeling things are not going well with OW at the moment. He seems very depressed. But I just stayed upbeat and focused on making plans without him.
Today is my birthday and thought I really want to hear some acknowledgement from H, I am not expecting it. Really, he really didn't do much in the past for my birthday either, it is what it is.
Oh! I got a job!! I start on Monday. Very excited to finally have a job, and after I get a couple of paychecks under my belt I will be setting down with H to split finances. He needs to start being responsible for paying for his own bills and juggling a budget. He has been depositing his paycheck in our account and I have continued to pay the bills from that. He also does photography on the side and uses that money to finance his single life. But, that is all going to change. I want to to just take care of myself and D16 and not worry about his stuff. I want him to find a way to get his own place so he and D16 can have their time away from the house, I can't be running off to friends and family every other weekend indefinitely.
I am continuing to rely totally on God through out this process and it gives me so much peace. Each day I am thankful for all that God has shown and given me. I have grown in my relationship with Him and I am so grateful that even though this experience is so painful at times, God has used it to His advantage to bring me closer to Him. I am looking forward to Easter and all that brings into my and my D16's lives.
Blessings to all!
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
