He's not gone yet but says his feelings are gone

[Hurt-but-Hopeful]

Croppin, thanks. I just saw your comment now. My posts are delayed because of being moderated, which hopefully won't be much longer. I don't know how you do it in the same house with an OW in the picture, but I guess we never know until we go through it ourselves. Good for you for setting your boundaries.

Last night, I should have detached more. I had a meeting after work, and had S with me. H called me around 7:30 or so to see if we were close to being done. I left about 10 minutes later & called him. I picked dinner up on the way home. H seemed more engaged in talking with me and looking at me last night. I hope it wasn't my imagination. But it felt hopeful. After we put S to bed, we both went to the bedroom to change out of work clothes. He laid down on the bed while I was changing & I thought maybe he might want to talk, so I laid down too after I was done. We chatted a bit about work & S, but that was it. I was about to get up & find something to do when he suggested we watch TV for a little bit. Which we did. Our conversations were pleasant and we laughed, but pretty superficial. It felt more natural, but it's been like that before and the next day he'll be back to sullen, withdrawn H. I left the room before he did to get ready for bed & he came in shortly after.

I'm still trying to "read" him, when I need to be detaching. I'm anxious for my IC appt tomorrow because I have a lot I want to talk about to prepare for our joint appt on Thursday.

Question - the therapist told H that he would just know when he was "done". Is that bad? Of course, I want her to say everything to make him stay, but it does seem reasonable. He's questioning his feelings and doesn't know if it's a "day late & dollar short" to fix things. I just don't trust his feelings right now since he seems to be in the fog & sees everything negatively. *sigh* I just wish he'd see how fixable this all is.