The few times we have discussed our situation she has fallen back on the "I don't know what I want" line of defense. I would believe her and be more patient about everything if her EA was indeed dead and buried, but its presence makes me angry. We have discussed her moving out but she is in no position financially to do that.
Her problem, not yours, Telemark. "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time," kwim??
Your WORDS are saying "I won't tolerate another man in our marriage," but your ACTIONS are saying otherwise as long as you allow her to remain in your house, texting and skyping and God-knows-what-else with him.
It seems to me that you're at a decision point. If she's truly ended her contact with OM, and wants to work on your marriage, then forgiveness, compassion and a SH*TLOAD OF EFFORT are called for. If she's playing you for a fool, however, and still in contact with him (and it seems like she is), then an entirely different plan is in order.
If it were me, I'd get some confirmation, one way or another.
