Take The Long Way Home...

[FellOnBlackDays]

Team, sorry I have been distant. iwl, Country, 2step, Faith, Nine, thanks a ton. You guys are the best. Took some time away to work on my plan. I have also been pretty busy at work. But, I do agree with you. I am turning into quite a catch and I will make some woman very happy some day. Maybe it will be my wife, maybe it won't. I can't dwell on that right now. Anyway, thought I would post a quick update:

Met with her today to get tax documents signed. I had her meet me at a notary's office near her office. She didn't know why, but she agreed. She arrived and we sat in my car and signed documents. She was all bubbly and friendly. Cracking jokes with me and so on. I was very confused. She noticed that I got an iPhone. She started making fun of me in a friendly way because I swore I would never get one. We played with it together and I showed her some videos of my niece. One thing was weird. She was still wearing her wedding ring even though I buster her about that last Sunday. I told her if she couldn't be honest with me regarding her OM, that she should do the right thing and take off our wedding band that she has been wearing on the wrong hand. I pretty much said, "I can't stop you from doing what you are going to do, but I would greatly appreciate it if you would show our marriage a little respect and not do what you are going to do while wearing my ring." She became embarrassed and fiddled with it a bit. Fast forward to today. I figured she would dump it just to show me up. But, today when she arrived, she was still wearing it. Very odd.

So, we sat in my van and went over what we were there to do. One of the documents I had prepared was a document transferring ownership of my college season football tickets to me that are under her name. She has been holding them hostage and refusing to sign them over. I didn't tell her that she was going to be signing that today. She was startled and told me that I was trying to slip one by her. What she didn't realize was that in my van was her stereo and some other items she had been begging for that I was holding on to as insurance. As she took notice of the fact that I wanted that document signed and started to get defensive, I simply smiled and pointed to the back of the van. There she saw I had arrived prepared to deliver her stuff. I never mentioned "quid pro quo" or anything. I simply smiled and pointed to the back of the van. She immediately stopped fighting me, agreed to sign the document and we went inside. As she signed the document for the tickets, I caught her staring at me. I signed it, he applied his stamp and then I did something I know she was not expecting. I turned around and handed the document to her. She looked startled. I told her that I just wanted to get the document ready while we were there to save a trip back to the notary. I smiled and handed it to her. I just pretty much gave her my only defense to get the tickets back. Talk about a leap of faith. I told her, "Here, you can hold onto this for now as I know you are nervous about this." I smiled again and turned away. She said nothing. I don't think she was expecting that. I still love her and I trust that she will do the right thing when the time comes.

So, we went out to the parking lot and talked some more. I informed her that I was meeting with the A this afternoon to start everything. She now owes me over $2000 for various things and is still contending that she can't pay me. I had let this slide for a bit, but I was planning on standing my ground today. But, she beat me to the punch. She said, "I know I owe you quite a bit of money and I know that I was fighting you on this and even told you that I wasn't going to pay you. But, if you can just take it out of my settlement, I would be happy to give it to you. I just can't write you a check. Would that be OK?" I smiled, and said, "Yes, that will be fine." She thanked me. She once again assured me that she doesn't want any kind of interim or long term support and she specifically told me to tell the A to put that in the petition. So, I had him do it today. She will not be served with papers at work. We agreed to spare her that embarrassment in the work place. The petition should be ready for my signature by this Wednesday. More than likely, since no one is contesting, I should be divorced in the next two weeks. Whether or not I want this or am ready for this, here it comes. I paid the A his money and went home.

I arrived home and was doing well. I cried for about 10 minutes. Once I was done, I picked myself up, changed clothes and went to the gym for two hours. I came home, made dinner, and called her to inform her that we are almost finished as a couple. Once again, she was pleasant as pie. Completely amicable to every thing I said and even tried to joke around with me. I stayed business-like and polite without being rude. I informed her of the proceedings of today's meeting, informed her that the paperwork should be ready soon and pretty much bid her good night with a smile. I think she seemed a bit surprised at my brevity, but I did this on purpose. It is time for her to start to face the fact that I am leaving. I too am moving on. This is not a f*cking joke, THIS IS A DIVORCE. It is time to put on the "big boy pants" and realize that you are willfully destroying a marriage that you once claimed you would honor until death do us part. I wished her a good night and she did the same. I hung up.

Well, unconditional love is tough. It hurts like hell. But, I have no other option. She wants out and desperately trying to hang on to her will only make her hate me more. I will have to let her go and see what happens. Friends, I will need some help as this progresses. I thank my stars every day for each and every one of you. Without you, I would probably have completely botched this and would be sleeping in a ditch right now. You are very special people and NONE of us deserve to be here.

BITS never walk alone!

FOBD