Grr... another thread that runs through this is that she feels plagued by "shoulds", ie it irritates her that she's staying and going to counseling, because she's only doing it "because she should, not because she wants to."
So today her Facebook status update was a quote: ""I should" is not good enough for the heart and soul. When we can say truly, "I want," we can then resolve to say "I will.""
Which... man, I wanted to rail against, because I'm frustrated that she views working on the marriage as "I should" when she must WANT the things a working marriage could provide: a loyal fan and cheerleader, companionship, resources and freedom, etc. And because I stuck with her when she was in her worst bouts of depression because I vowed to stick with her in sickness or in health. Because I tend to WANT to do the things I SHOULD instead of pouting like a spoiled child when things are hard (which also, to me and selfishly, explains why *I* am actually in good shape and actually finished my doctorate even though it was HER stated goal to be in shape and done by about two years ago).
It galled me, but I "like"d the comment just because it was the opposite of my reaction. I'm still seething, tho.
