INPUT PLEASE!

[enlightened 1]

Haven't posted in a while but I need your advice. There seems to be no hope for saving my marriage.

I was thinking of giving my W a book on forgiveness since this is flat out something she doesn't know the true meaning of . She is the Queen of holding grudges and resentment for even the littlest things to everyone execept her immedediate family!

Do you think this might be a good idea or will it be the last slap in the face?

I feel my only hope might be her realizing that she never lets go of anger and it just continues to grow inside her.

Please give me your thoughts.

[~¤DG¤~]

Personally, I don't know what giving her the book will do.
I am assuming you have had many discussions about this before.

I am not familiar with your sitch as I am pretty new to the boards, but I am sorry you are hurting.

[islander]

I am also not familiar with your sitch. But, do you think she would read it. If you can answer that question, if may help you decide. I think at some point, when nothing is working, you have to go with your gut feeling. You know your W best.

[StaciG]

I would also say you have to use your own judgement. You dont want to have any regrets that you should have tried something that you didnt.

[NEmoose43]

Totally agree with Staci. If you think it might help, why not?

My W and I have talked about forgiveness quite a bit since we both have EA's that we're trying to get past. She told me that in her IC, she told her counselor that she thought forgiving meant "giving up"...YIKES. She asked me what I thought it meant. I told her it was not an emotion, it was a choice. And it means using the past to make the future better...not forgetting what has happened, but learning from it. She actually liked that, but said that my ability to forgive so quickly made her feel like a terrible person...and honestly, I took that as a hopeful sign for us.

So, that being said, why not say that you read the book and it gave you a lot of insights, both about yourself and your relationship. Say I'd like you to read it if you get a chance. I did the same thing with 5LL last week, and I saw that W had it in her purse yesterday. Not sure if it'll work in your sitch, but hey, whatever works right?