Jon, I hear it slightly differently from your C - perhaps because different things get communicated in your meetings from what you post here.
I can't really see in your posts the point at which W is 'with finality , choosing her family over me'. I say this because she holds up various options: being with SIL (but fights with her), being near BIL and FIL (but doesn't really want to do that), and then suggests that being near her doctor (i.e. near you) might be best. I'm interested in how others - Michelle, Goodfight - hear this?
I'm more in tune with what your C says about how W might be imagining D - i.e. that 'D would be freedom, but she could still have benefits when needed'. As we see, she's still reaching out to your for different kinds of help. And maybe C is right, and when she puts the Dallas idea out there, maybe she's testing your reactions (testing to see: would you still be nice and helpful and close to her - like a family member but without all the problems of her family members - if she went through with D?).
You have expressed to her how you don't want to D. But have you also expressed to her what would be the consequences if she did? (I'm obviously thinking along 'Tough Love' lines now - following your C's suggestion that it would be clearly drawing the line).
I'm interested to hear if you've done this (and how she responded), how you think she would respond (if you haven't yet done it), and what those others who've been following your story think the effect on her might be.
