My 'DB' knowledge would prompt me to tell you that you aren't quite meeting something she's expecting/you haven't quite identified it.
My human/friend side of me says...I just don't like your wife/she's cranky.
The most valuable thing is to find out what it is from the DB side, because that's what you can change. I know you've already tried, you've tried asking her, you've tried changing things, yadayada.
You fix things. (My guy does that too.) Sometimes we want romance. It would be nice if she could 'see' you fixing things as being her hero and being romantic. I've learned to do that for my guy because I'm rarely gonna get diamonds and lots of roses. And the truth is, what he brings is MUCH more valuable. Much more so.
I can smack her for you if you'd like. I run that side service.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001