Had the entire morning with our son -- we went to church, ate at the taco truck, etc. Mom comes from work to fetch him after his nap. At that time we were at the playground across the street, so we just started a casual conversation. My wife talked about her work day, her schedule, while I took the opportunity to ask her about auto insurance for her new car (she got her own policy, so won't need to keep our joint old one), and her garage door opener for our current house (she lost it during the move).
Concerning the insurance, I told her that I can't just cancel her policy, because of the automatic restraining order. She gave me a quizzical look, and said "Restraining order?" So I explained to her that when a divorce is started, there's an auto restraining order, and one of the things is no insurance can be cancelled or claimed against the spouse. I told her that she would need to give me a written notice to inform me she will not need the car insurance any longer. She said: "Okay, but you can go ahead and cancel it because there's no reason for me to pay for a car that does not exist anymore." Odd that my wife would go consult and pay for a lawyer, and not have a clue what the California automatic restraining order entails.
Then at 7:30pm, she calls me from her house. She said she wanted to discuss with me on whether to spank our son; he was being disrespectful (laughing at her warnings for timeouts, continuously saying "No"). Our daycare provider had reported a couple of such behaviors, but personally I think it's the separation/divorce effect -- as much as each parent mutually agree or work "together" on raising their children in their own house, there's the lack of consolidated parenting under one roof, no balance. Anyway, I didn't tell her that.
We discuss the pros and cons of spanking, and at one point I said: "Can I talk to 'E'? I would like to give him some warnings to listen to you."
W: No, I think that will undermine my authority as his parent right now.
M: Hmm, okay.
So after a while, we agreed to spank one time on the bottom, fast, quick, with enough of a surprise to him, and most importantly, not out of anger.
M: Thank you for discussing this with me.
W: We still ARE his parents.
M: Well, it's awesome that we're able to talk about this together.
W: You're welcome.
M: I'll be saying a quick prayer for you and him, by the way. LOL
