oh, and so my time with the kids is being effected by W's incessant need to control as well as these social outings by W. My time with kids is currently sunday at noon until tuesday morning. Well, D8 is those times, D13 just visits on sunday.
I am instructed by W to pick kids up from afternoon bday party, @ 4pm. OK, no problem, although Sunday is my day with kids, so I should have been the one to schedule the bday party. I would have had them go most likely, but W is controlling my kid time by making arrangements and not discussing with me, first.
I also get into a bit of an argument with D13 because we're out shopping and spending time together, and D13 is "irritable". I find out later in the day, D13's reason for "acting out" is because she's tired. I ask "did you go to sleep again at 5am?" She winces... then admits that's why she's tired. So again, W's social calender and child care have affected my "quality time" with kids.
Then, I find out that W went to enabling gf's house for her S13's bday party. WTH? My kids are good friends with their (now) S14. They should have been there, too. Instead, W goes alone (well, with FS16, who is also a common friend to S14). OM35 is also friends with this couple and likely there, but that's irrelevant already.
I think, "where's the logic in that?" I could have had the kids on Saturday, then they could have done the evening bday with W.
And later in the evening (which is when I find out about evening bday party), D13 says "FS16 is here to get me". I say "what? why is he here? I would have taken you home." And I finally find out that W and FS16 are here because they're getting back from bday party. D13 also tells me that was the plan and was confused that I didn't seem to know the plan. Again, I'm emotional and angry in the presence of D13. I profusely apologized to D13, telling her that I was not privy to "the plan" (W's plan) and she accepted. She gave me a big hug before leaving. I know it matters to her and I'm sad that I can't control those emotions with her, but sometimes I confuse it with what I know D13's manipulative (teenager behaviour) nature can be. This one wasn't about her. My bad and my apology appeared to be well received.
I will send email to W this evening to tell W that I am aware kids missed out on bday party and that things could have been different had I known and we made alternate arrangements for kids.
The timing is important as it uses what should be an emotionally trying seminar W is attending today to stress the points that this is about the kids and how (better) communication between W and myself could have allowed for better arrangements for kids.
