I'm sorry that you find yourself here, but know that there are some WONDERFUL people who will be able to help you with some awesome advice!
Things are always on a roller coaster in my life, so I'm definitely not the one to give advice =) However, sometimes it's not the advice you need, but just a listening ear and someone to sympathize. I completely understand what you mean by "it is driving me nuts that he won't just take one more chance on us". In my case, the OW is a HUGE factor in why.
It's frustrating to be sure, but I have made the decision to go semi dark as I cannot take the stress of being the cake anymore. It causes me to make assumptions and it brings on R talks that are not going anywhere b/c he is not in the place to make a permanent decision. This wishy washy attitude can be a good thing, but only (I think) if I can do what I need to do to make it happen. However, in the end it is not about our WAS...it's about US. We have to be able to be happy with or without them and it is a LOOOOONNNNGGG road.
It's also complicated because of my D. She is hurting so much and it intensifies the frustration because I want to lash out at him because of her feelings! UGH!!!! So...today I have decided that I am going to keep myself busy and try some thought stopping techniques and try to enjoy my day.
Keep posting and I'll head over and check out your sitch! Remember that patience will be the winner no matter the outcome of your sitch!!!
