Thank you Lila and DG for being so supportive of me. Lila, I don't know why it's been so hard to detach this weekend. I mean, like I had said earlier, it's not like he's more in California this weekend than he was on Monday, but it just hit me extra hard. I did, however, have fun finishing the nursery (as much as I can for now anyhow). I still have a few decorating things to do, and few more essential items to purchase, but for the most part it's ready for her. I'm packing my hospital bag tomorrow, and the diaper bag is good to go.
DG, I think he already feels like an a$$. I think this is part of the reason he's especially distant. He knows he's messing up, big time, but rather than deal with it, he's continuing to run away (a common theme in how he deals with personal conflict). I certainly hope that he will fall in love with her the moment he sees her (that seems to be how it works for most reticent fathers from what I've heard). I think that will be another battle to deal with when she comes: the guilt he will feel (and most likely accompanying depression) when he realizes the impact of his actions.
All this being said, I have to take better care of myself. I thought I was doing pretty well, but in church today I could not stand at all through the service, and I had to drop out of the anthem before the last page. I immediately exited and threw up. I did not black out, but came pretty darn close. I called my doctor, and they think I'm just very, very dehydrated. Lots of water and Gatorade and a 3 hour nap later, I was MUCH better. Sinus infection + 36 weeks preggers + crying all the time = extreme dehydration. I've been ordered to "take it easy". My type A personality does not do well with this medical advice.
I see my doc tomorrow for my checkup. I'll be going weekly from here on out. I'm in good hands, I promise.
On a R note, H decided to IM me today asking about my choir. This is the first time since he dropped the bomb that he's asked about something I'm doing for me as the opening to a conversation. So for those keeping count for this week, that's 3 times asking about the baby, 2 times asking about something very neutral, and 1 time asking about something specifically related to just me. Let's hope he actually comes home tomorrow night and doesn't change his flight...
