Trying to get serious about DB again

[hope2011]

2step, you hit the nail on the head. We are both guarded.

1 day at a time is my new mantra. Thank you.

180's this week....

H bought up vacation ideas again. I stuck with "I think we should go to your parents and help them like we promised, try to save some money and spent Easter with family. We can start to save up for vacation this summer and do something the boys will be excited about". He pouted, he gave me the cold shoulder for 3 hours. I didn't get upset, I didn't argue, I validated his need for a vacation (he just went golfing with his buddies 4 weeks ago and I gave up a business trip to save money). I didn't argue. I stayed upbeat.

Took the dog for an hour walk while H was sulking. Good exercise for both me and the dog and I got some looks from guys driving by... the ego boost was much needed. H still hasn't kissed me, complimented me or made me feel pretty in a long, long time. Going to stop waiting on him to make me feel pretty and get in shape and feel better about myself with or without him.

More cleaning this week.

No sweetclothes all week.

Party yesterday was ok. The XW didn't show up so that was easier. I made myself be more outgoing and talk to people so I wasn't standing alone. H only left me alone once and only for 10 minutes. H's BF is a really nice guy, very family-oriented, very kind and considerate of others. His W is a piece of work. When she said "I'm going back to work after 2 weeks" (they hired a nanny) because she "can't deal with a baby all the time" and will be back to traveling non-stop for work... I just smiled. I didn't roll my eyes or respond. Of course in my head I was think "Dear God, SHE gets to be a mom, but I don't? Really?!!?". And I didn't let it bother me all day.

Our area was hit by all the tornadoes so it's been a very dramatic weekend around here. But for once, it wasn't M drama.