I am so thankful to have found a place where there are people in situations similar to mine. I love that there is all this information about "sex starved wives" but I'd like to communicate with women who are not wives yet, but are experiencing the sex starved relationship or with people who knew that there was a low drive prior to marriage.
My back story is as follows:
I am 25 and my fiancee is 24. We've been together for 2.5 years and have known each other for about 6. We live together and as of right this second, we are planning on getting married in November.
I love him. I want him. And I want him to want me.
He says that he is simply not interested in sex. He lost his virginity not because he was particularly hormone driven, but because everyone else was talking about it and he thought it would make him cool. Prior to dating me, he was concerned about his sex drive being abnormal, so he got his testosterone checked out and all was fine in that department.
He would rather do anything else than have sex. He masturbates only when he is bored. Sometimes I feel as though he is asexual.
We haven't had sex since June. When we have had sex (and I could count the number of times on both of my hands) I enjoy it and he has said that he enjoys it too. There was only one occasion that he lost his erection and i genuinely wasn't worried about it nor did I make a big deal out of it.
I've lost interest in making the effort because of the number of times I have been rejected. There are all these "rules" in order to get him interested and it just takes the fun out of it for me. For example, he doesn't want to ML in the morning because his day will be thrown off. He doesn't want to ML when he gets into bed at night because he is in bed to sleep. Or he has to be seduced. I'm a confident woman, but this has really started to take a toll on that for me.
He is the only person I have been with and I want so much more out of this. I have needs and desires and although I am capable and do take care of myself, I want the closeness and intimacy from him that you just can't get from a vibrator. I am the inexperienced one in the r and he expects me to initiate if it is so important to me. And it is, but I want it to be important to him too. I have attempted to initiate, but I almost always end up chickening out because of fear of rejection. I know I need to change my attitude and be more positive but I am finding it very hard to do.
PLEASE, any suggestions are welcome. I am sure that some on here may wonder why I am even considering continuing this relationship by getting married, but I am sure you all know the answer.
I want this to work, but I need some help and support.
