At some point if this marriage is going to work, I'm going to have to know everything. I'd rather know the facts because I'm most likely making it worse in my head. I will continue to torture myself until I know the truth.
But the question is, at what point will I have enough leverage to ask for the truth and complete transparency? It will have to happen eventually.
I suppose the first step is for him to want to be in this M. And even then, I don't know when to address that with him. When he left, he seemed to be moving towards that direction. He asked about the baby again yesterday. And the house. Which seemed somewhat random. I wonder if he wants to ask about me, but this is his indirect way of doing it? I don't know.
What are other signs that will let me know when I can ask for everything? What are signs that he will be ready to talk about our R?
I plan on readdressing MC with him later this week. I don't know at what point, but I'm guessing it will come about when I find an opportunity in what is occurring in natural conversation.
If he's all weird again like he was the last time he came home, I don't know if I'll be able to contain my rage. I knew he messed up last time (just in that he had lied to me about where he had been, not so much in what he had done per se). But I will know if he's guilty.
