Being Me, you have been at this for a VERY LONG TIME....... I think you really need to be honest with yourself and look at this situation realistically. I'm not trying to put you down by saying that. You have tried in every way imaginable and no one can take that from you. I think you need to ask 2 questions. 1. What else can I do? Honey, after 7 years, I think you have done it and then some..... 2. What has he done to make you think he wants to be with you? Again, from what you have posted, it doesn't sound like he has changed much in 7 years........... I think you need to get a lawyer, part ways and start fresh.
BH - fortunately one of the now usually very curable ones, caught at an early stage thanks to screening - breast cancer. I have had it twice, but different types, so non recurring, but the second time required very radical surgery as I had radiotherapy the first time. TMI probably, but you did ask!
I do think the second time was in part due to emotional issues around supporting my children during my h's MLC. He didn't keep it to the two of us, but visited his anger on his kids very painfully.
I have reached the point at which the pieces from the MLC have fallen into place, and although the wound is there, it is largely healed. But this type of thing cuts deep at any point, especially after a very long and [for me] happy marriage. I do think we can hang on for too long, but only we know when enough is enough!!
Beatrice, I wish you well in your cancer battle. I had colo-rectal cancer, so I understand what you have been through. Understand this, life is too short to waste on those who aren't going to be good to us. Anything can happen to us at anytime and we need to live life to its fullest. Unfortunately, I see far too many people here hanging on to nothing. I think one should stand for awhile if that's what they want, but it does become unhealthy and I think so many people have and are just waiting around for something that will never be.
I agree with both of you ... I probably have stood for way too long. Of course, during my illness, I couldn't do much about it, since I was fighting a different battle, and concentrated all my efforts onto that. But, now I am pretty healthy, and starting to think again, that this M is over. In retrospect, I should've divorced him 6 years ago, but the past is the past. No regrets, but I do have to move on and live my life. While H is away, I feel like I'm in Park, gathering dust, waiting. He, on the other hand, is traveling to exotic countries, busy with work, being entertained by his bosses, and who knows who else. He doesn't know what it's like for me, because even when he is home, and I'm away, he is busy with work, having conference calls, etc. I've told him so often, that I'm done with this M, so this time I'm going to do what I need to do, and then just leave. I doubt he'll be surprised.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Beatrice and BH ... I wish you well in your battle with cancer. I hope, for both of you, that it is over ... being that ill sure gives one a different perspective on life, doesn't it? I know, for me, I'm far less worried about stuff or what people think. And, I'm not so shy to speak up. I've faced death and survived. A dramatic statement, but true. I'm still waiting for the 5 year mark, so I look forward to that anniversary, in 2014.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Being Me, thanks, it sure does make you have a different outlook. A piece of advice, don't worry about the 5 year mark. Its like my Doc. said, it will never be zero, not for me or anyone else. Live your life day to day and don't think about it. As far as your H goes, well, I just think he is keeping you around as a safety cushion, or to keep from giving you your share of money and property. If he wanted the M to work, he would have tried, and he hasn't. Don't wait, get the ball rolling Monday, don't waste anymore of your life.
How does one know if you're being tracked on your computer? This laptop used to be H's, and he always seems to know just when I am getting to the point of wanting to leave. Maybe, he just knows me and the buttons to push.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Being Me, either way, what does it matter? I'm not trying to be a smart a, but so what if he tracks you or bushes buttons? Bottom line is he is just stringing you along enough to keep you in the picture. He has had 7 years to change and he hasn't. If you are satisfied living your life like that, by all means, go ahead! If you want more for your life, then you need to make changes, without him in it.
Which would include him not being in my business. 'Eh, maybe I'm just being silly.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
