Yeah, it's still baffling. I've tried doing some of the above, too...
For example, I have correctly identified a lot of my issues (the frustrating thing is we were identifying them and working on them RIGHT BEFORE IT BROKE DOWN! GAH! I feel like we missed a window of opportunity by two weeks!). And in our first trial separation I fixed a lot of them--and she has noticed!
I'm doing my best to GAL, going to meetup events without her, starting to go to dance classes (a chance to be active and social and meet/casually flirt with women in a consequence-free environment, ie you're expected to trade partners and make small talk but definitely not "getting involved", and while it hasn't been all that social it's good for my ego to learn something new). That sort of thing. But still do stuff with her on weekends (we just got back from the museum and a big lunch with friends, then a little work trying to get our hot tub operational). I'm doing fine at work (it's affecting me a little but I'm keeping ahead) and still working out sporadically, not as much as last year but enough to keep in shape.
But it's... difficult to figure out what line to take. One complaint is that I was being too controlling (my mistake; I was trying to help her with stated goals by being a bit of a "coach", ie she said she wanted to get in shape so I was badgering her to work out and eat better, etc)... so I'm trying to give her more freedom and choice. And yet another complaint is that I'm too passive and not exciting enough--"I never get the excited feeling, 'I want to know what happens next'" So it's tough to tell. I've started changing my tack from "hey, would you like to do X" to "I'm going to do X, would you like to come along?" and I think that's helping a little bit.
Not sure on small tokens of affection... I can "get away" with the occasional hand hold or touch, but I can't tell if it's having a good, bad, or any affect at all.
And always... "I just feel done. You need to give me a reason to stay."
Mysteriously, my copy of DR has gone missing, and now I'm all confused. I almost thought she had taken it, but she's not mentioned anything, so I can't tell if I misplaced it or what. Hm.
