I just want to have my kids 50/50, have this ring off my finger (the D paperwork) and enjoy life. Make some cash, go on some trips (I have never been able to do that with any regularity), and eventually, find someone whom I can make a better life with. Whom will love me and I will love back. But... in the changes that I make in myself, based on what I know, have learned through this process, and feedback from my W.
"OR worse, OR poorer, IN sickness..." The bad WITH the good.
My W believes that love (as she put it) "is an action, not an emotion, and love is not enough."
While I agree that love is hindered by the real world stresses that each of us has in our lives, love IS an emotion and love sets apart those who will do whatever it takes from those who believe in "For better, for richer, and in health".
But, as my W and me are examples, there comes a point when the balance sways too far in a negative direction and the "cost" of saving a marriage, perhaps too much.
I want for me to enjoy my life, make enough money to enjoy some toys and times, with those I love.
I hope that answer the question. If I missed the meaning, please 2x4 me. :-) (Is it specifics? Like "I will be more honest, I will spend more time with my kids, I will be less controlling."?)
W responded to one of my emails:
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"(Kid schedule stuff)
I am in that course on Monday, so will hit the bank on Tuesday. I have no idea how long this will take, but please let (landlord) know he can call me if he needs confirmation on this.
I need this to be done legally H. Not because I don't trust you, but because I am ensuring whatever the future holds, whatever path we take, this is accounted for.
I will have it all done this week. I would suspect you will will have the cash by Thursday.
W"
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For those who may have missed it, as my W says above "it's not that I don't trust you"... And in a previous email only this morning said, "Trust is a big factor, and that has been gone for a few years..."
I wonder... does she know what she says, sometimes?
And don't get me started on the "...whatever the future holds, whatever path we take..." ????
The path is D... She's said it and I've said it... where's the lack of clarity? OK, ok... I know... action. The future and path will be clear by me doing. Don't say... show...
I know, you will all say that I'm analyzing and this is an alien.
I'm just re-affirming that remains the case.
W may never understand love as I do, and not all need to. I'm not saying my way is right. But I DO need someone who DOES see love that way, the way I do. And I know those people are out there.
