30 Year marriage over in a flash? Is she in crisis

[Smitty1038]

The cream that she was using was actually from a natural pharmacist made from Yams and other Natural products. Who knows maybe they put progesterone in there …it was orange and she uses a blob on her wristsw everyday. It helped with her hot flashes and she changed physically and she also changed in her personality. The kids say they don’t know her.

I do have a couple of questions:

1. She has not told her Family or any but our closest friends. I see this as good as it does not cause her to be more resilient and determined in her quest to dissolve our marriage. I also see this as bad because she is not getting the pressure or isolation that will undoubtedly come as a result of her unilateral decision. Should I keep silent and appear as if all is normal (we do not live close to family) or ask that she share the news so she can begin to get some POV from others who I know will tell her she has lost it.?

2. I have gone dark and have not had any contact in the last 4 days. How should I handle when she does contact me about a matter related to, for example, taxes or bills which do have relevance. Should I continue to remain silent or respond?

I also fear that this one friend she has been hanging out with is feeding her a line. Her friend divorced her alcoholic husband a number of years ago and is very opinionated. I know I cannot do anything about this so I wonder why I even mention it.

I have been a very good husband and partner and we were very happy. I have provided a very nice lifestyle for her and worked my tail off to give her her freedom and independence. I had hoped that the day would come soon when I could spend the quality time with her day in and day out. So tough to come to grips that this, at least for now, is disintegrated.

I will not fall into despair and I will not give up on my Marriage.

Thanks all for your support

[tadpole1025]

Smitty, if she contacts you, be nice, polite and civil. If it is about taxes or something like that, treat it as a business deal. That's what I do anyways...

Tad

[Smitty1038]

Thanks...sound advice...any thought about whether to inform Family or let it ride?