Don't want to hijack your thread, but I had to comment on how she has expressed what she wants yet, refuses for you to give it to her. My W does this too. Not saying I know your W but consider that the fact she had to tell you makes it undesirable now since "you should have known on your own in the first place". Any attempts now will just look phony and temporary. Instead focus on the needs you can fulfill for her without her direct permission tidy up the house, wash the dishes for her, take up that hobby you have neglected to. If you stick to these she will tell that you are serious in changing to meet your needs and hers. Eventually she will let you take care of her, because she believes it is the new you not the guy trying to make a last ditch attempt. This will take time.
